Real Estate Descriptions

Time for me to start collecting descriptions from real estate listings. I'm starting with the description of the house we just bought.

2020-09-24

Hot Diggity Dog! New Decade, New Digs. Notice the smart floor plan & generous spaces for your 2 & 4 legged family to stretch out in style in this elegant modern Craftsman. Cooks will be tickled by all the quartz work surfaces, oodles of kitchen storage & luxurious finishes. Master suite boasts stunning bay views with seating area, 2 walk-in closets & tiled shower. Flip on AC during dog days of summer. Brand spanking new, lots of square footage & bay views to boot. Doggone it, you will Dig it!

This is Astoria. It's a contemporary style home but has to be "modern Craftsman" here. There are no "dog days of summer" here. It has up to date insulation so it won't need AC ever; it has a heat pump because it's an all electric house so it happens to be able to cool as well as heat. In Astoria people expect gas because they still operate in a 20th century mentality when it comes to home tech and climate change.